There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize