you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had to cum in my sink.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
