just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
