i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
