Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
