i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
