you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
