things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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