Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize