Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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