just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
