jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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