new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Someone signed my nipple.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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