So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
