If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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