Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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