i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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