The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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