Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
