Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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