when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Randomize
