Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
