so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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