Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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