Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
