I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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