Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
