"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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