Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
