I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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