plz talk dirty to me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The adults are the big ones right?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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