A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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