Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
