If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
