Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
