i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
