apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
