i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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