I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
