You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
