Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
