their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
