Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
