everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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