What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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