He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
