I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize