Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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