I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
