I think i peed on brittanys purse
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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