Already got asked if we're dating
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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