You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
