She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
