i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
