why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
