I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
